I'm afraid of peace

they said that this world is made only for the brave, so i trained myself to walk under the blazing sun with no soles covering my blistered feet. i endured the burning sand and befriended thoroughly the angry seas. I made love with the dark and gave birth to the monsters i used to hide from. I discarded the skeletons inside my closet and trashed my favorite blanket. i sung with the thunders and danced with the storm.

but why do i still feel like im a stranger and i do not belong?

it seems so unfair how i compiled my horrors and wrung my fears, yet i drown with the most sanguine time. i have bled without my armor and faced the wars without a quiver, yet i find my heart pounding at the sight of undaunting eyes.

 
i poured courage all over my body until my brown shirt is not seen, yet i feel unclothed like a frog in the queue for dissection. i established the word bravery on me, like a flag on the moon. i marked myself intrepid and tattooed lionheart on my forehead

but why do i still feel like the world is gonna vomit me out of its borders?