villain

they said never meet your heroes. I never quite understood why would my fangirl heart refrain from seeing someone that shaped my life. how would i not break the door once I learn that the one i adore is on the other side? how would i not capture the moment and sit still while we are only walls apart? i cant. 

but when i saw up close my hero, his cape had a different shade from the one on screen. his costume was not smooth or sleek, but made of poor-quality thread and a badly stitched pattern. he did not even try to hide from the disgrace that he is, but made a movie, repeatedly, with his worn-out fake of a skin. he does not have superpowers, not the ones i was mesmerized with when he lifted me off the ground. he will not save me, nor was he a savior to begin with, he was just a character that i made up in my mind with the stories i have read in my room. he was not kind, nor he had qualities that are different from the rest. he cannot fly, he will not try. 

i know now why you cannot meet your heroes, because you will realize they are more disgusting than normal beings. you would see all their horrible flaws not worth mending because once you do, you'll get hurt yourself. they will be the villain of your story because everything you knew and think are lies made up by their glitters and shine. all those things you believed to be wonderful are nightmares you did not see clearly when you were younger. never meet your heroes, because they will break your heart in a way that you can never fix it,