why do you hold a pen

There are people who write to disappear,

to use the words as doors they escape to.

the ink as stairs, they use as an accessory

to abandon this world they define as "cruel, ugly and sad."

They hide covering beneath the pages, 

using pens as their shield.

the invisibility cloak is every paper they take,

disappearing is their act of bravery,

and poetry as a disguise.

I, however, write to exist 

and feel every character I make up. 

I trace paths from stories,  

walk on the shadows of open notes, 

I write to breathe every dialogue and line, 

to feel the uncertainties, 

and live the way this numb world fails to give.

I pour out my dreams and fantasies, 

and courageously wake up every time my pen kisses the paper 

I don't hide behind my paperbacks 

but fly while carrying them 

waving audaciously the banners of my life 

I write not to disappear,

but to show up in every paragraph,

I write to exist 

even if just in the fictional emptiness 

I'm trying to fill.